That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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