I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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