The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
