I think scott just propositioned me for sex
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
