Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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