You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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