apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
