Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
