porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
its not stalking. its research.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
