Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
