So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
