just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
