I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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