we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
