Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize