shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
