you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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