The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize