hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
