She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize