just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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