i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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