he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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