the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
