Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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