Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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