You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
