your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
