I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
