wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
