Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
