i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
