Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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