Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm at about main and main street
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
