It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize