he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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