You smell like stripper and shame
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
