Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
