i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
