we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
