my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
