My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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