the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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