I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
