whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
