His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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