That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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