It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
