I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize