I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
