i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
