Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
