he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
