either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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