you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
