quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize