singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
