and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
