I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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