It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
