when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
