So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
