Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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