Non-Jews are for practice
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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