they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
