The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
