do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
love makes seman taste better
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
